english grammar help..

POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
edited November -1 in Art, Graphics, Music and Sound
hey guys a couple weeks ago i posted that i need a bit of help with english (its not my native)
so i made a text file with all the text that is in the game (mostly are instructions)..
and i was wondering if anybody could give me a hand a go through them and check for grammar mistakes.. and spelling....... so would you?!

Comments

  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    a little tiny mini bump... ;)
  • jweaver911jweaver911 Member Posts: 439
    how much text?
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    about 15 lines...
  • ORBZORBZ Member Posts: 1,304
    post them
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    ok here they are , some of them may not make any sense to you ;) it comes with graphics examples,
    anyway, any help will be acceptable ! change the errors..(even the whole sentence if needed)

    ************************************************
    1) Defeat spider boss

    2) total boss defeat :

    3) Keep your fingers on
    the screen for combos

    4) Dont let the timer
    punch your score ! (the timer is a puncher)

    5) To pop a Tilt balloon
    Tilt the device to its side ! (sometimes its left and sometimes right)

    6) To pop a party balloon
    Slide your finger across it !

    7) Press the party
    horn to pop the bat

    8) Perform the action when the command hits the limbo stick

    9) 10x Bubbles poped = 1 point

    10) Target points - 20

    11) To drink..
    Tap the beers When they align

    12) Then kill the scary monster….. If you can catch it

    13) Gain 99 points
    With blindfold on !

    14) tutorial how to play, tap to start

    to pop a balloon slide your finger across it, tap to try

    straight balloons , diagonal balloons, curved balloons and Tap balloons

    there are also motion balloons: shake, flip and tilt , tap to continue.

    a gentle motion will suffice! DON'T break your device tap to try

    shake balloons, gently shake to pop

    flip balloons , flip the device to pop

    tilt balloons , tilt right/left to pop

    perfect! moving on to some more info.. tap to continue

    lives left , your score , time line for popping a balloon

    15) things that will kill the party :

    don't touch the cake

    keep the time frame full!

    don't miss the tilt balloons

    fully complete boss modes!
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    can someone please go through the sentences...?!
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    i guess ill just leave it this way... thanks anyway
  • RattleheadRattlehead Member Posts: 485
    p-o-m said:
    i guess ill just leave it this way... thanks anyway

    I think you are correct when you said it might require images to fully understand what you are trying to say. If you want to send me a document with screenshots and the appropriate text under each one to my email address, I can take a look at it tonight...

    Send it to:

    lance. [email protected]

    Just remove the large amount of space between the period and my last name and you'll be good to go.
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    wow this is so nice of you!
    ill send you photos only, the text is already above , the name of the photos will be numbers
    so each photo connects to the sentence number above (is that make any sense?)
    thank you thank you thank you!!
  • RattleheadRattlehead Member Posts: 485
    Sure. Sound good. Just heading out for a couple of hours but I should be able to get something back to you in a day or two.
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    mail sent!

    1- 13 i have photos

    14-15 its just the text like above, let me know if you need any more info
  • MotherHooseMotherHoose Member Posts: 2,456
    Wow! your English is good!

    I just think the syntax/format should be more consistent.

    Example:
    15) things that will kill the party :
    don't touch the cake
    keep the time frame full!
    don't miss the tilt balloons
    fully complete boss modes!
    15) Keep your party going!
    Don't touch the cake!
    Don't let time get punched-out!
    Don't miss the Tilt Balloons!
    Complete each Boss mode!

    MH
  • POMPOM Member Posts: 2,599
    this is exactly what im talking about!
    i put so much effort in the game (graphics, sound , performance etc)
    i just dont want my english to be an obstacle..
    by the way, its not my english that is good, its the Dictionary's english ;)

    love the syntax/format thingy, wish i new how to do it myself..
  • TheoBlonkTheoBlonk Member Posts: 25
    A little advice from me: it is a rule to not have a space between the last symbol and an exclamation- or question mark.
    So: Yes! instead of Yes !
    and Why? instead of Why ?

    Theo, graphic designer, Holland.
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